Thank god I have an office. With a door. 'Cause I've been closing it alot today. I'm all emotional. I know I'm only going to be away for four weeks, but I think it's hitting me. And I'm sort of freaking out.
It started last night when I read Marita's email. She wrote, "how about going to Robben Island on Sunday? And I have a friend who can take us to this great jazz club on Monday." With that, it all sunk in. I thought to myself, "holy fucking shit, I have plans for this weekend. In Africa. Damn!" So I got so incredibly excited and somewhat anxious... and emotional.
Then today, I've cried some more. When Alex called me from the Dominican, I closed my office door, and we sort of sobbed together on the phone. After Page and I had "see ya later" tea together, a few tears escaped. When I read Carole's very kind bon voyage card, my bottom lip quivered, but I held it together. Then I shut my office door again, called Mom, and cried some more.
It's not that I'm necessarily sad. I think it's just that things are starting to sink in. Up until this point, "I'm going to Cape Town for a month and I'm sure it'll be an amazing adventure and a life changing experience" have just been words. Now they have weight. I've absorbed some of it. I literally feel adrenaline running through my veins. That's not me throwing around a cliche. That's me sitting here, typing away, feeling adrenaline in my arms, energy in my legs, activity in my shoulders, and something extra in my heart rate. With all of that, comes emotional release. And that's where I'm at.
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